Anyhoo, what a weird day. And an embarrassing one. I'm hyperstressed thanks to not getting any shifts with Sycamore yet while trying to facilitate this move out of my mum's house, I am straining all of my finances to make payments on my bills, Zoey has a terrible double ear infection that has had her screaming inconsolably after every sleep and also made her a bit willful and cranky, and even small things crop up--such as smashing my elbows and knees on every available surface left, right and center, being met with petty disappointments that just accumulate into one greater whole, and feeling tremendously emo about my circumstances.
I went to Wally World (a place I need to avoid like the plague--bad luck always finds me there) to get some money orders and some space savers to avoid stealing my mom's dressers out from under her nose, and guess what? They didn't fit in the tiny vehicle that I, alas, am forced to call my own and am unable to get rid of--hooray living in suburbia. So Zoey is sitting in the cart, soaking in the rain, while I huff, puff, swear, shove, so on and forth, attempting to fit the damn things in my little shoebox with wheels, until I am crying, drenched, Zoey is dripping wet, and I resign myself to taking the stupid things back into the store to return them and forget about the whole thing.
Note: I would have put Zoey in the car to get her out of the rain, but squeezing said space savers in with her seated in her carseat might have proven problematic... and I didn't think it was going to turn into such a prolonged ordeal. It is probably a good thing that she sat in the cart, because frankly, I can't tell you how many times I discovered that the only ONE space saver--the smaller of the two--might have fit was if the carseat were not in the car.
Besides... she found the rain and my struggles with the space savers entertaining. She giggled, squealed and kicked the whole time. At least one of us thought it was funny.
So I waded through the flooded parking lot, a giggly Zo in one arm and the cart with the offending items pushed by the other, and returned them, all the while in uncontrollable tears. That was SO EFFING embarrassing.
It also makes me deplore humanity. Not one person walking by while I struggled with the space savers offered to help me, and no one asked me what the hell I was crying for. Which I guess makes sense--I WAS at Wal-Mart, asshole capital of the universe.
I didn't think about this until later, hours after the fact, actually. I had gotten us home and into some dry clothes, and was making dinner for Zoey and me when it struck me that no one offered me a hand or a kind word, even though I was CLEARLY upset and having trouble.
Seriously. What the hell is the matter with people? That's pretty lame.
BUT. I borrowed my mom's massive jacuzzi bathtub (incidentally set in a bay window... which I LOVE!), and took a nice, hot bath with some candles and some lovely-smelling bath bubbles. I watched Throwdown with Bobby Flay. I listened to the rain. It was MARVELOUS. Like resetting the computer that is my mind, or some such thing. And thank God.
Anyway... I am off. Going to attempt some writing before I go to bed. Ni ni!